| We know each other | We know each other |
| you just haven’t been on the show | you just haven’t been on the show |
| Yes, can you explain to people? | Yes, can you explain to people? |
| i’ve never heard your version of the story | i’ve never heard your version of the story |
| but tell people how we know each other | but tell people how we know each other |
| how we met | how we met |
| I’m scared because my husband’s gonna kill me | I’m scared because my husband’s gonna kill me |
| for telling this story but it’s my favorite story ever | for telling this story but it’s my favorite story ever |
| and this is the story of how Ellen and i met | and this is the story of how Ellen and i met |
| so Tom and I my husband were on our honeymoon | so Tom and I my husband were on our honeymoon |
| which we delayed because we shot I’Tonya at the beginning of the year | which we delayed because we shot I’Tonya at the beginning of the year |
| and the last year we had just gotten married | and the last year we had just gotten married |
| but we had to put off the honeymoon part | but we had to put off the honeymoon part |
| And so we go to Tahiti and we go onto this island | And so we go to Tahiti and we go onto this island |
| we kinda live like a Robinson Crusoe like there’s just a shack | we kinda live like a Robinson Crusoe like there’s just a shack |
| That you stay in, and there’s no electricity | That you stay in, and there’s no electricity |
| and there’s no mirrors or anything like that | and there’s no mirrors or anything like that |
| So, we’d been there for four days | So, we’d been there for four days |
| and then the last bit of the honeymoon was like a really nice hotel | and then the last bit of the honeymoon was like a really nice hotel |
| like really luxury, it’s lovely | like really luxury, it’s lovely |
| And so we get there | And so we get there |
| But it’s raining and we’re like ohh! | But it’s raining and we’re like ohh! |
| You know, We by the way look disgusting | You know, We by the way look disgusting |
| Because we haven’t seen our own reflections in four days | Because we haven’t seen our own reflections in four days |
| So we don’t know what we look. | So we don’t know what we look. |
| by the way they did not | by the way they did not |
| But we’re like | But we’re like |
| what can we do here when it’s raining | what can we do here when it’s raining |
| And we’re like oh!, you know! there’s a lovely spa, or there’s a gym | And we’re like oh!, you know! there’s a lovely spa, or there’s a gym |
| and we’re like oh, I don’t really want to work out | and we’re like oh, I don’t really want to work out |
| but I guess we could do something at the gym | but I guess we could do something at the gym |
| And so, we get change to go to the gym | And so, we get change to go to the gym |
| And Tom puts on these shorts that they’re like his oldest gym’s shorts | And Tom puts on these shorts that they’re like his oldest gym’s shorts |
| And they’re tiny and they’re really short | And they’re tiny and they’re really short |
| And there’s nothing underneath | And there’s nothing underneath |
| so they’re, you know | so they’re, you know |
| so he gets on his bicycle to ride there and I was like whoa, I was like | so he gets on his bicycle to ride there and I was like whoa, I was like |
| I was like babe, you cannot wear these shorts | I was like babe, you cannot wear these shorts |
| They’re like, you know I can see everything | They’re like, you know I can see everything |
| And he was like: come on, who’re we gonna run into? | And he was like: come on, who’re we gonna run into? |
| I mean who’s gonna be here | I mean who’s gonna be here |
| and i was like you’re right | and i was like you’re right |
| i mean, we’d just been on an island where no one else was for so long | i mean, we’d just been on an island where no one else was for so long |
| so I was like yeah you’re right | so I was like yeah you’re right |
| I mean, who’re we gonna see? | I mean, who’re we gonna see? |
| And so we walk into the gym and, running on the treadmill is Ellen | And so we walk into the gym and, running on the treadmill is Ellen |
| And then on the treadmill next to her Is Portia her wife | And then on the treadmill next to her Is Portia her wife |
| So, Ellen looks over and she was like, hey! no, no, no | So, Ellen looks over and she was like, hey! no, no, no |
| It’s not even the best bit but already Tom and I are like, Oh my god! | It’s not even the best bit but already Tom and I are like, Oh my god! |
| And the Tom’s face’s just gone white | And the Tom’s face’s just gone white |
| And you’re like: Hi, Hi | And you’re like: Hi, Hi |
| and I was like: Oh my gosh, Ellen, so lovely to meet you and you’re like: | and I was like: Oh my gosh, Ellen, so lovely to meet you and you’re like: |
| This is my wife Portia, I was like: lovely to meet you | This is my wife Portia, I was like: lovely to meet you |
| Portia was already starstruck | Portia was already starstruck |
| And then you’re like: have you met, have you met Obama? | And then you’re like: have you met, have you met Obama? |
| And we’re like: what!! | And we’re like: what!! |
| and standing next to them is former President Barack Obama | and standing next to them is former President Barack Obama |
| I’m not kidding, I’m not kidding! | I’m not kidding, I’m not kidding! |
| In a gym that’s tiny | In a gym that’s tiny |
| Yeah! The gym was the size of this stage | Yeah! The gym was the size of this stage |
| Like even smaller | Like even smaller |
| It was a very confined space | It was a very confined space |
| And we then have to do this whole | And we then have to do this whole |
| we have to do this whole like class like this stretching class | we have to do this whole like class like this stretching class |
| But Tom meanwhile is trying like to not reveal anything | But Tom meanwhile is trying like to not reveal anything |
| And he’s dying and I’m crying so much | And he’s dying and I’m crying so much |
| I’m about to crack a rib | I’m about to crack a rib |
| And literally this gym instructor keep saying to Tom | And literally this gym instructor keep saying to Tom |
| Tom lunge, lunge, you’re not lunging | Tom lunge, lunge, you’re not lunging |
| And Tom’s like trying to lunge cross-legged | And Tom’s like trying to lunge cross-legged |
| And Obama is like stepping over his legs to put his weights back | And Obama is like stepping over his legs to put his weights back |
| And the whole thing was so absurd | And the whole thing was so absurd |
| It was hilarious | It was hilarious |
| I mean, when she says short-shorts, they were I’m not exaggerating | I mean, when she says short-shorts, they were I’m not exaggerating |
| They were to here and wide like very wide | They were to here and wide like very wide |
