| page 17 | -Would often go to these godly women in Bedford; His heart contained 2 things: great tenderness, and a great meditating of his mind on godly things;
-Mind fixed on eternity;
-Shook of his young friend-- an ungodly man, but met him again in a lane;
-Ranter's books--was not able to judge them, so he prayed for wisdom from God |
| page 18 | -In company with people who were influenced by Ranters--pretended that they only held to the true religion; God kept him in the fear of His Name |
| Page 19 | -Began to read the epistles of Paul--crying out to God that he might know the truth
-Read 1 Corinthians 10:8-9
-Questioned whether or not he had true faith
-Concluded that he was completely ignorant, yet not altogether faithless
-Was afraid to see his want of faith; was always asking himself how he knew if he had faith; he saw that if he did not, he was sure to perish forever; |
| Page 20 | -Temptation to work some miracle in order to prove that he had faith; did not do so, lest he should be unable to perform the miracle, thus proving that he did not have faith
-Concluded that he neither had faith, nor was ever likely to have faith; could not tell what to do
-Vision of the poor people in Bedford on the sunny mountain, and of the wall with a small hole |
| Page 21 | -Tried again and again to get through the small hole in the wall, but only did so after great struggling
-Mountain = the Church, the sun = God’s face, the wall = the Word, the gap in the wall = Jesus Christ
-Had a great hunger to be among those who were on the sunny mountain; would pray as David in Ps.51 |
